At some point, you must cease providing access, energy, and dialogue to those who consistently harm you, only to later attempt to diagnose your reactions.
The people who often say, "you're doing too much" and "you're overreacting" usually have no desire to comprehend your perspective. Their goal is to delay your truth, redirect your responses, and downplay the consequences of their actions. When someone begins to use these phrases, they are not interested in taking responsibility. They do not wish to resolve conflicts, and they certainly do not want you to voice your feelings. They have already categorized you in a manner that alleviates their guilt. There is a clear distinction between misunderstanding you and trying to control you (controlling your reactions, minimizing your feelings).
Some individuals are accustomed to inflicting emotional pain and escaping the acknowledgment of their antics. They are not interested in understanding your emotions, especially if they are used to people turning the other cheek due to the level of manipulation they impose, which is once again diagnosed by the abuser. They are always focused on postponing your truth and rerouting and delaying your reactions so they can avoid the repercussions of their actions. The moment those phrases are spoken, your feelings have been dismissed and the conversation should be considered concluded. not due to immaturity or weakness on your part, but because you refuse to be invalidated for responding to their audacity! Don't let a weak bitch diagnose you for responding to their action
You aint never need a trife in your life more than the bitch need god, So act like you know the games, especially when you've been through it already, and keep moving forward without explanation. When someone can inflict harm and then quickly shift the narrative to make you feel overly dramatic, sensitive, or unstable, you are not engaged in a safe or constructive dynamic. Instead, you find yourself trapped in a cycle of “here we go again.” They are trying to control the moment your truth begins to threaten their comfort in their ways, in your life. So if you keep hearing these phrases, stop attempting to "explain it better." Start protecting your access. I mean You've been here before right ? Like why would you even?
Normalized dysfunction to save a smile for tomorrow.
Baby daddy drama and selective parenting
Some people do not co parent, they co exist when it is convenient. They want access without responsibility, respect without effort, and credit without consistency. Parenting is not a mood. It is a responsibility, its a purpose to do WITH purpose. If you only show up when you feel like it, you are a failed protector and a liability and you know what they say, a man that cant handle his business cant be trusted with YOUR business.
Word of advice for anyone who has a hard time leaving certain friendships behind. Start with the
“I was staying out of it” friends, the “I did not know yall did not like each other” friends, and the “I heard about it, I just did not think anything of it” friends. If your circle is larger than the amount of people you can count on one hand that you would truly trust, it is time to square up. Tighten up. Protect your access, protect your peace, and stop calling familiarity sisterhood.
Of course choose your battles wisely, but also normalize letting it get uncomfortable when people disrespect a friend of yours behind their back but in your face if you value the loyalty yall have within each other. A valuable friendship does not survive on "sittin this one out". It survives on respect.
Big circle, small trust,
FAMILIARITY IS NOT LOYALTY
Temporary peace culture
WITCHDPWM PODCAST |
This generation
is addicted to putting problems on mute.
People will dismiss what is real for a
temporary calm,
then act shocked when it comes back louder.
Avoidance is not resolution!
If the truth keeps returning,
it is because it was never handled,
only hidden. or you hid from it !
Big circle, small trust,
FAMILIARITY IS NOT LOYALTY
Word of advice for anyone who has a hard time leaving certain friendships behind. Start with the
“I was staying out of it” friends, the “I did not know yall did not like each other” friends, and the “I heard about it, I just did not think anything of it” friends. If your circle is larger than the amount of people you can count on one hand that you would truly trust, it is time to square up. Tighten up. Protect your access, protect your peace, and stop calling familiarity sisterhood.
Of course choose your battles wisely, but also normalize letting it get uncomfortable when people disrespect a friend of yours behind their back but in your face if you value the loyalty yall have within each other. A valuable friendship does not survive on "sittin this one out". It survives on respect.