Baby daddy drama and selective parenting
Some people do not co parent, they co exist when it is convenient. They want access without responsibility, respect without effort, and credit without consistency. Parenting is not a mood. It is a responsibility, its a purpose to do WITH purpose. If you only show up when you feel like it, you are a failed protector and a liability and you know what they say, a man that cant handle his business cant be trusted with YOUR business.
Word of advice for anyone who has a hard time leaving certain friendships behind. Start with the
“I was staying out of it” friends, the “I did not know yall did not like each other” friends, and the “I heard about it, I just did not think anything of it” friends. If your circle is larger than the amount of people you can count on one hand that you would truly trust, it is time to square up. Tighten up. Protect your access, protect your peace, and stop calling familiarity sisterhood.
Of course choose your battles wisely, but also normalize letting it get uncomfortable when people disrespect a friend of yours behind their back but in your face if you value the loyalty yall have within each other. A valuable friendship does not survive on "sittin this one out". It survives on respect.
Big circle, small trust,
FAMILIARITY IS NOT LOYALTY
UNMASKED
NOTES
Normalized dysfunction to save a smile for tomorrow.
WITCHDPWM PODCAST |
OVERREACTING IS
THE SCRIPTED MANIPULATION
At some point, you must cease providing access, energy, and dialogue to those who consistently harm you, only to later attempt to diagnose your reactions.
The people who often say, "you're doing too much" and "you're overreacting" usually have no desire to comprehend your perspective let alone care to see and then apologize for their actions . Their goal is to delay your truth, redirect your responses, and downplay the consequences of their actions. When someone begins to use these phrases, they are not interested in taking responsibility. They do not wish to resolve conflicts, and they certainly do not want you to voice your feelings. They have already categorized you in a manner that alleviates their guilt. There is a clear distinction between misunderstanding you and trying to control you (controlling your reactions, minimizing your feelings). Some individuals are accustomed to inflicting emotional pain and escaping the acknowledgment of their antics. They are not interested in understanding your emotions, especially if they are used to people turning the other cheek due to the level of manipulation they impose, which is once again diagnosed by the abuser. They are always focused on postponing your truth and rerouting and delaying your reactions so they can avoid the repercussions of their actions. The moment those phrases are spoken, the conversation is over. Not because you are immature or too weak to engage, but because you refuse to sit there and be diagnosed for responding to the pain they caused. Nobody needs that shit ok ? act like you know the games, especially when you've been through it already, and keep moving forward without explanation. When someone can hurt you and then quickly switch to phrases that make you feel overly dramatic, sensitive, or unstable, you are not participating in a safe or positive frequency. You are trapped in a cycle of, "here we go again." They are trying to control the moment your truth begins to threaten their comfort in their ways, in your life. So if you keep hearing these phrases, stop attempting to "explain it better." Start protecting your access. I mean You've been here before right ? Like why would you even?
2 THINGS CAN BE TRUE AT ONCE
A lot of people are sacrificing protection because they refuse to vanquish all they ever known and restudy. They would rather stay loyal to what they were taught than risk questioning it, even when parts of it stop making sense. And that is a dangerous game, because closed mindedness is not faith. It is fear.
Prayer matters, but so does participation. It is one thing to ask for covering, it is another thing to build it. To study your lineage. To learn what your ancestors knew. To activate protection over you and your children in the name of God, in the name of your bloodline.
Because the world does not stop being real just because you refuse to look at other truths. And refusing to learn does not make you safer. It only keeps you unprepared.
Baby daddy drama and selective parenting
Some people do not co parent, they co exist when it is convenient. They want access without responsibility, respect without effort, and credit without consistency. Parenting is not a mood. It is a responsibility, its a purpose to do WITH purpose. If you only show up when you feel like it, you are a failed protector and a liability and you know what they say, a man that cant handle his business cant be trusted with YOUR business.
Big circle, small trust,
FAMILIARITY IS NOT LOYALTY
Word of advice for anyone who has a hard time leaving certain friendships behind. Start with the
“I was staying out of it” friends, the “I did not know yall did not like each other” friends, and the “I heard about it, I just did not think anything of it” friends. If your circle is larger than the amount of people you can count on one hand that you would truly trust, it is time to square up. Tighten up. Protect your access, protect your peace, and stop calling familiarity sisterhood.
Of course choose your battles wisely, but also normalize letting it get uncomfortable when people disrespect a friend of yours behind their back but in your face if you value the loyalty yall have within each other. A valuable friendship does not survive on "sittin this one out". It survives on respect.